Guiled

O.K., people, I am now only $80 shy of my Ichthyosis fund-raising goal.  All I'm asking for is $10.  TEN DOLLARS.  That's ... two and three quarters gallons of gasoline, a dozen soft tacos at Taco Bell, seven loaves of bread, and four and a half dozen eggs.  Which would be, what, 54 eggs?  For the price of 54 eggs, you can help children like my daughter fight a rare, itchy, awful skin condition.  What, do you hate children?  Ok, well, dogs can be born with ichthyosis too.  Do you hate dogs too?

Why do you hate children and puppies?

Have I guilted you enough?  Or just made you hungry with all that talk about soft tacos?  Click here to give a donation to Ichthyosis research.  Tell them it's in honor of Moonpie, so I know you gave and don't black-list you.  Oh, and I will send you my yummy bourbon pudding recipe if you email me afterwards.

So.  Change of subject.  Remember Overused-last-name-for-a-first-name and her bloodbath biting orgy? And all the great advice you gave me?  Well, I took it, and had a talk with the director, who told me through a fake smile and clenched teeth that Overused-last-name-for-a-first-name was just "having a bad day" and that the school was handling it.

Today she stabbed one of Moonpie's classmates with a pair of scissors. 

Granted, it was in his hand, and he was "tough" and didn't even cry, but one of the other girls told me there was "BLOOD! BLOOD EVERYWHERE!" when I went to pick Moonpie up.

Once again, the school did not call either of the parents whose children were involved.

Am I making too much of this?  Is this kid seriously mentally unstable, or do normal kids really do this kind of thing when their new baby is ... four months old?

Comments

[spacemom]

RE: stabbing?? OMG! How can they not call the parents? That has to be done! Talk to the director!

[Misti]

No, thats pretty much unacceptable. Something needs to be done about this child; her mother being the director be damned!

[Nan]

OK - when N got bitten (for sticking his finger in his friend's mouth), I got a call w/in 1/2 hour. No broken skin, and obvious provocation.

If the staff won't do anything, you need to move up the food chain to the board. But at the same time, start researching alternatives. Yes, they might be making exceptions due to who the mom is, but the other question is whether this is SOP regardless of who the child is (in which case the local equivalent of DCFS should be contacted).

Even thought Moonpie wasn't directly involved, the precedent they're setting is NOT good for kids that age (X gets away w/it...maybe I should try). Kinda scary all around.

And isn't this school affiliated w/a local religious org?

[Bump Fairy]

Childs actions: Normal. Schools' reaction? absolutely abnormal and not to be tolerated ( IMO, anyway).

If they can't control that child then find out if you can switch classes, perhaps?

[Annika]

I would go over the director's head. Like, to child services or the police. That is crazy.

[Tine]

Eeek. I've got a kiddo with occasional behavior problems, and even I think the stabbing incident is rather...unusual.

As for the school's response: Completely inappropriate. Probably also illegal. Something's fishy there.

[v]

Surely they have some sort of policy written down somewhere. If you don't have a copy, ask them for one and hold their asses to it. If not, and if they are vague as to what their policies are in terms of a, behavioral problems and b, major and minor injuries, communicate the request in writing, along with the incidents that have occurred, and cc the appropriate state regulators as well as maybe your local state legislators. "I fear if my child were to be stabbed or choked that I would not be informed" would sure get my attention. You are a consumer buying their service, and you have rights. Also, do you know any of the other parents? You'll be more effective as group.

[Karen]

Sheesh, my church nursery fills out an injury report when one child bites another. It's an injury inflicted on one person by another. Something is very wrong if the school refuses to protect its students, regardless of the motivation behind the act.

[Lynnette]

OK. I kept forgetting, so I upped it to $30.00. Hopefully almost there. I don't think you are uptight at all. One thing to have an unruly kid, but the parents weren't called after a STABBING? WTF...I think I'd be looking for a new school. I was stabbed by a fellow 1st grader, way back and still have the graphite under my inside wrist skin...must be why I'm infertile! Hmnn..wonder if our parents were called...

[akeeyu]

Well, if you take the combination of face biting and hand stabbing, next comes...face stabbing.

And if Moonpie is next, boy, you'll feel like an asshole for not pulling her out while you're taking her to the plastic surgeon for scar repair...and of course, it would be scar repair, because they wouldn't call and you wouldn't get her to the doctor in time to have the stabby hole properly stitched.

So...yeah. Whether or not the kid is normal, that place is fucked right up.

[Andrea]

Wow, no, not normal at all. If one of our kids (kindergarteners) so much as gets a head bumped, the parents get an immediate phone call detailing the circumstances and extent of the injury. If two kids are involved, and . . . STABBING?

Yeah. There's a problem there.

I would confront the school directly, and say that clearly this sets an unhealthy precedent. Maybe mention that you are certain other parents would feel the same way you do if they were to learn their children were in such an environment? I wouldn't balk at mentioning the possibility of police involvement, either. Dunno what exactly constitutes criminal negligence where you are, but if the school sees "blood everywhere" and doesn't see the problem? Um, no. Just no. Shake them of some of that complacency, at the very least. Or at least try to.

[Andrea]

Me again! Also meant to say that I do fully intend to donate, but I am just waiting on payment for a set of freelance articles I submitted (I get paid into my PayPal account). As soon as that clears, I will definitely be donating :)

[KimN]

What do you mean they didn't call either set of parents???? That is disgusting for sure. I know our daycare's policy is if there is blood, then there is a call. Period. I would definitely pull her out. There has to be a better place out there.

[Kristen]

You are not over-reacting. My daaghter's school reports to us any injury and any incident beyond ordinary children's fusses. It may just be verbal as we pick our children up each day. The children get time outs for many things. Annika is 4.5 and she tells me when she does something that results in a time out or if she has any issues with another child, and I want to encourage that openess. We are actually often stricter than the school and usually encourage to go back the next day and apologize if she was clearly wrong or talk to the person that she had a problem with on the previous day. For example, Collin told her she was mean, and after talking it through, Annika did not believe she had been mean. (Her dad and I were not so sure...we had a rough few days with her!) She was so proud to come home the next day and tell me how she had "talked it over with Collin" and he understood. My point is, if children are taught to problem solve and commnicate with words at a young age, they will have the skills "to put the scissors down" Taylor.

[Foster]

Uhm, NO. At the daycare where I work, any injury that leaves a mark gets an incident report written and signed by the parents at pick-up time. For minor injuries (scrapes, small bumps, small cuts, bites, etc), we do not call parents, and they are informed verbally and via incident report at pick-up. For bigger injuries (large head bumps, black eyes, face scrapes, bites that break skin, etc), parents get a call immediately, and also a written incident report to sign at pick-up. The fact that neither parent was called, IMO, is unforgivably IRRESPONSIBLE. If I even *think* that a parent might freak over a childs injury, I call them, even if it is just to say, "Your child has a small cut by her eye. She is fine now, not crying, but I didnt want you to see her and freak out." This was a serious violent act commited by a child. Honestly, I dont even care why she did it, Im extremely disturbed that at least the injured childs parents were not called. My director would be freaking out, calling everyone! I am usually one of the first to defend daycares, but I would pull Moonpie immediately and tell the director and teachers to their faces that you are removing her b/c you cannot trust them to inform you when/if Moonpie gets hurt. IMO, the attackers motives/whatever, are irrelevant in this situation b/c the adults showed ZERO amount of responsibility, maturity, and trustworthiness.

Im sorry this was so long, but I wouldve been fired from my daycare in a second if I had let an incident like this go unreported!

[4katnap]

Point one. Injuries should be reported.
Point two. What was that child doing with scissors unsupervised?
I'd have had a FIT!