THE INTERNET: <poke>
SOPER: Ow!
THE INTERNET: <poke poke> Are you alive?
SOPER: Yes. Quit poking me.
THE INTERNET: What the fuck is wrong with you? You haven't posted in, like, three weeks!
SOPER: Yeah, well, stuff happens.
THE INTERNET: Like what?
SOPER: Well, Akeeyu had her babies.
THE INTERNET: You had nothing to do with that. You were not in the delivery room pushing out twins, so you can't claim that as an excuse.
SOPER: Well, I did send her links to cute animals while she was in labor.
THE INTERNET: A-hem. What other lame excuses can you come up with?
SOPER: My my, don't we have bad grammar when we're feeling snarky.
THE INTERNET: At least we have something to say.
SOPER: (rolls eyes) Anyway, we also *almost* got another baby.
THE INTERNET: Hey, now that is interesting! You could have written and told us!
SOPER: Yeah, well, it was too depressing. Emotions go up, emotions go down.... it's just too much to go into. Short version is (1) there was a baby, (2) we almost got chosen, (3) in the end, we didn't. Still no baby for us.
THE INTERNET: What about Moonpie and the penis thing?
SOPER: Well, we got the anatomically correct doll, which was more expensive than I would normally have been willing to pay, but since this was about my child's mental well-being I splurged and got her a doll with a realistic penis. Moonpie chose the Hispanic one and named him "Max," and likes to talk about his penis. A lot. But she is still a daddy, and dresses like a pirate, and makes me use the pronoun "he." So I give up.
THE INTERNET: You do know she is just fucking with you, don't you?
SOPER: Yeah, she is. And she is three, and I am totally scared of what things will be like when she is thirteen.
THE INTERNET: So, anything else new?
SOPER: I made a queen size bed spread for the guest room, and started decorating the nursery for the child-who-will-not-come-yet, and I fell again, and basically that's it.
THE INTERNET: Wow. Your life really is dull.
SOPER: Oh, and our adoption agency just emailed that we have to redo part of our paperwork because the state has changed its requirements.
THE INTERNET: Of course.
SOPER: Of course.
THE INTERNET: Well, um, if anything interesting happens, um, you know....
SOPER: Yeah. Ok.
See, that's a perfectly legitimate post!
Yours,
one of the Internets
Posted by: Orodemniades | February 19, 2008 at 12:12 PM
Sorry about the almost baby.
Posted by: Tessy | February 19, 2008 at 12:18 PM
Sorry about the almost child.
Yes, Moonpie is messing with your head. It gets fun, doesn't it!
Posted by: Spacemom | February 19, 2008 at 02:05 PM
Glad to 'hear' from you, no matter the subject matter. I'm sorry it's still been a roller coaster of almosts when it comes to another adoption.
Posted by: Mandy | February 19, 2008 at 03:12 PM
LOL - funny post. sorry about the adoption. i went through that myself once - before my daughter :) now i thank god the first one did not go through cuz i would not have her.
Posted by: Maggie | February 20, 2008 at 05:23 PM
Yup - she's fucking with you. Just like Little Man's fucking w/me. Doesn't want to go to day care, then doesn't want me to come back. Acts like an angel for anyone but me, does the pteradactyl noise in the supermarket until I'm almost in tears in embarrassed frustration, then won't let J give him a bath - Ma ma ma ma ma ma! And I can't wait until we find a house...no more 4 flights of stairs with a 25lb kid and groceries for me!
And I'm so sorry about the baby. Rollercoasters aren't all they're cracked up to be, are they?
Posted by: Nan | February 21, 2008 at 08:54 PM
Thanks for the post and all the news. I am sorry about the almost baby, that really sucks, I can understand why you didn't post about it.
Posted by: Carlynn | February 26, 2008 at 03:54 AM
So sorry that you've been going through such emotional upheaval lately.
Thinking of you and yours.
Posted by: April | February 27, 2008 at 01:19 PM
So sorry that you've been going through such emotional upheaval lately.
Thinking of you and yours.
Posted by: April | February 27, 2008 at 01:19 PM