The Dread Pirate Lesley

I am so disappointed that no one guessed "Labor and Delivery" as where I've been hiding lately.  Seriously people, if I could have kept a secret Guatemalan adoption from you, don't you think I'm capable of hiding an oops pregnancy as well?

Sheesh.  A little credit.

So, not Guatemala.  Not L & D, although I totally *could* have kept it a secret had the occasion presented itself.

*cough*

We went to Playa Del Carmen for a wedding.  Not everything is about my uterus, you know...

Speaking of uteri, Moonpie's gender confusion has reached epic proportions.  As you may recall, for over a year now she has been insisting that she is a boy, eschewing all things girl for monster trucks, football shirts, and anything robotic.  And is currently the Dread Pirate Lesley, and is obsessed with the Princess Bride, but only the fighting parts.  I am fine with all of that.  I like that I'm raising a tough girl, who isn't a playing into traditional female stereotypes or acting like Princess Buttercup because my God, woman, pick up a stick and hit the damn rat with it, it's EATING Wesley and he is too yummy to be eaten by rats....

No, all of that is cool.  It's the penis thing that is causing trouble around our house.

MOONPIE: I'm a boy!

SOPER: No, you are a girl.  You don't have a penis, so you are a girl.

MOONPIE:  I do too have a penis! It's under my skin! Right here! (pointing to her absent penis)

SOPER:  No, sweetie, you don't.  Boys have an extra piece of skin, called a penis, and girls have a uterus inside them, which is where they grow a baby.  You do not have a penis, you have a uterus, and when you grow up you can have a baby if you want to but you don't have to...

MOONPIE:  No, I have a penis! I'm a boy!

Frankly, I blame Mattel. 

The only doll Moonpie will condescend to play with is her Ken doll.   And Ken has a, well, a personal problem, which I think is the root of her gender confusion:

He's a Castrati. 

When I noticed her naked Ken the other day, it suddenly all made sense.  Moonpie has never actually seen a penis.

SOPER:  D, you need to let Moonpie watch you pee.

D:  (sputters)  Um, no!

SOPER:  She's three.  It won't warp her,  it isn't dirty, nobody is going to come arrest you.  It's educational.  She is your daughter, and she needs to see a penis. 

D:  Um, no!

Wimp.

So I thought maybe I'd find an anatomically correct doll for her that could help, subtly, explain the difference between a girl and a boy.

And this is what I found. 

I think the Dad doll has a boner.

So that was a bit more graphic than what I was aiming for (and, as an aside, why exactly would you need an anatomically correct Grandma doll?)

Any suggestions?

Comments

[Heather.PNR]

Dude. That doll family is creepy on many levels.

We got a doll with all its bits for our toddler son from here, and were really pleased with it:

http://www.kidsandgrandkids.com/cgi-bin/nav.cgi?subcat=Anatomically%20Correct&action=search&id=1201999197

[spacemom]

Um, Hmmm, I think D needs to be a little braver.

Do you have any friends with a baby boy? Maybe she could see a diaper change?

[Erin O']

I think the faces of the dolls bother me more than anything else.

I like the idea of Moonpie watching a diaper change of a baby boy -- lots to talk about, she can help by handing someone the lotion, etc.

Our 3 yo is OBSESSED that I do not have a penis. He thinks the pee comes out of my hiney. He's watched me pee before, but that still doesn't satisfy him. His final word about the fact that I have a vagina and not a penis -- "weird."

[Jessica]

We have the same kidsandgrandkids doll and I highly reccomend it. They even sent dome free finger puppets and a personalized note in the box when they shipped it!

[katy]

Try "The Bare Naked Book".
It's been a while since I've looked at it, but it seems like it would be appropriate.

[Orodemniades]

Those dolls scare me.

[AmericanFamily]

Moonpie might be a little young for the text, but there are good illustrations of penises in this book:

http://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-Stork-Families-Friends/dp/0763600474

[ashley]

I actually thought you might be in L&D accompanying a birth mother. drats. I hope you had a nice time at Playa del Carmen. It's so beautiful there.

You could try dollslikeme.com . They have anatomically correct dolls there, although I haven't checked out that page. We bought an asian doll for Brooklyn's birthday last year from this website. We'll definitely use them again in the future.

[Amy]

:) there are a few more "correct" dolls out there, I think just born makes them, about $35 each in any race.

[artsweet]

I feel a left out by all the pregnant female dolls. Where are the infertile dolls?!?

Not to mention that in real life, it's a little harder to put the baby back in.

[Tamsen]

Nothing to add on anatomically correct dolls... I did however play with a ton of Barbies and one Ken, plus had no brothers, and the penis was a hard concept for me to grasp.

As for "dreamy" Wesley... he was dreamy in that movie, but I saw him recently in Georgia Rule... and YUCK!

http://www.imdb.com/gallery/granitz/3739/CaryElwes_Grani_6256895_400.jpg.html?path=pgallery&path_key=Elwes%2C%20Cary&seq=4

[Jen]

Dude! You need to put a NSFW warning on that doll link. I think I'm scarred for life.

I'd take your issues over my current girl-princes-pink-obsessed Mimi, though. She randomly declaims "I'm a girl. We're girls. I like pink because I'm a girl. That's for boys. I don't like boys." Etc. Frankly, it's annoying. Except for the "I don't like boys" part; she could stick with that until she's 28 or so.

[Lynnette]

Forget the dad's boner..."ALL Amamanta Family Mother Dolls are pregnant!... Just like it is
in OUR American family households..." (capitalization and editing: mine) I think a book might be less creepy, but then I got in trouble for bringing MY illustrated sex book to school in 2nd grade, so maybe that's just my thing...GL...I guess it will always be something! (oh and Cary Elwes IS getting kind of ucky, lately. Reminds me of Mickey Rourke's "change.")

[Nessa]

I know this might be weird, but the first thought I had after seeing the grandpa doll was does he have old saggy balls? Gross, I know. But other than the grandparent dolls, I think it is a cool concept. Although a little pricey.

[Nan]

See, that's what I like about celluloid - I can still see Cary Elwes in my head as young and trim - kind of like how I see myself in my head!

As for anatomically correct dolls - not sure where to get one, but I took N. to the Children's Museum recently. In one play area there were some baby dolls. I suggested he get one, and we could feed it lunch. He picked one up (naked, of course), and immediately focused on the penis. I said "yes, that's a penis - like yours" He immediately grabbed his crotch - wow - so it starts that early. I heard a snicker from behind me, turned to find the mother of a little girl, and just had to say "wait 'til she discovers breasts!"

Glad you had a good time at the wedding!

[yasmara]

My boys each have one of these dolls and they are great -

http://www.peapods.com/browse.cfm/4,101.htm

(Baby Bottoms Anatomically Correct Cloth Dolls)

[Erin]

I thought I'd say hello:) I read your post about "Moonpie's" gender confusion. Ethan thinks he's a girl;) We're really into pink, hairbows, & all things girly around here!

[Abra Leah]

No help on the dolls issue - but just wanted to let you know that Chloe (3) wants a penis. Well, she actually says that she has one. (femenists everywhere, prepare to cringe) She calls her clitoris her "little penis." And she has a whole story about how when she grows up it will be a big penis and she will be a boy ... it goes on and on. We've labled everything correctly - and she has a 2-y-o brother, so she has seen the real deal and knows the difference. Penis envy - it's very real. :)

I think her issue is so many people tell her blue is for boys and pink is for girls and since she's red/green color blind she hates pink and all shades of red/green. She loves blue. :)

I hope.