Well, Shit

Heidi P., stop reading RIGHT NOW.

For the rest of you, we will have to skip part II of how not to adopt from Kazakhstan, as we now have more pressing matters:

There is no child for us here.

That's right -- we flew for 30 hours, around the world, to sit this morning in a stinky hot room and listen to two angry Kazakh women yell at our coordinator and translator that Americans only want to adopt babies, and they have older children who need homes, and the only child they could offer us was three years old.

And they had told her that her momma and dada were coming today.  She screamed "Mama!" at me as we walked into the orphanage.

We are only approved by immigration for an infant under one year.  We cannot adopt this child, no matter how hard it is to think that they are going to have to tell her that.

Our coordinator thinks they are lying.  I think he is right -- it's a long story, but basically they were told last week that there were six children under one year old available for adoption.  Today we were told that there was only one, and that she had been adopted last week by a Kazakh family.

D.  is livid. 

I am working on Zen.

Our coordinator is working frantically to call her bluff, and if that fails, to move us to a different region.  We are exhausted, and jet lagged, and frustrated.   

Please say a few more prayers for us.

Comments

[Sisyphus]

Oh, Soper, and D. I am so sorry you're facing this. I can believe you are pissed as hell right now. Hoping like crazy something good will come from this, praying for you this week. Hang in there. Shit.

[Cat, Galloping]

I am so, so sorry. Thinking good thoughts for you that this works out. How insane.

[Julie]

Oh, no.

No, no, no.

[nela]

I'm so sorry this is happening to you! Please try to hang on in there!!!

[Suz]

Oh, Sopher. I'm so so sorry and furious that this is happening to you. You are in my thoughts and I'm praying for something good for you and D.

[frog]

Oh, no. :(

[Lala]

Un fucking believable!

[Danielle]

Oh, Soper. So sorry that you're having to go through all this. I'll be hoping and praying for you that it all works out.

[Erin]

Oh, Soper. I'm so sorry! I really hope something good happens soon. Any zen, karma or other cosmic weight I have is currently being sent your way. I'm really, really sorry.

[Amber]

OMG, what a nightmare. I will send as many good thoughts your way as I can. I hope things get straightened out as quickly as possible.

[Kristin]

I am so sorry. So so sorry. What a nightmare. Thinking of you...

[Amanda]

Holy crap. I'm so very sorry. You guys will be in my thoughts.

[Ninotchka]

Oh no. How horrible! I'm sending good thoughts your way.

[deborah]

There are no words, Soper. What a horrible situation to find yourself in. I'm emailing the Universe right now to GET IT FUCKING RIGHT FOR A CHANGE.

[B. Mare]

I can barely type, since my jaw is hanging so low that it keeps getting in the way of the keyboard.

OK. OK. OK. This is a fuck-up of, I don't know, monumental proporation. I am sending you some positive energy that it somehow ends up working out. It HAS to work out.

[VHMPrincess]

Unbelievable. Please keep us posted, I'm sending all the positive energy I can you way that they get this worked out for you...this is crazy.

[Susan / holdingpattern]

UNREAL. Unfucking believable. I cannot believe this. This is horrible. Worse than horrible. It is unimaginable.

Soper, I am so very, very sorry. I so, so, so, so, SO hope that this somehow works itself out within in the next day or two. It is so WRONG that you and D, of ALL people who have suffered enough, should have to go through this. Goodluck with the Zen, Soper.

[Miss W]

Oh my God....that is terrible. I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this. I am really hoping that they are able to work something out ASAP...I just can't even imagine. Words fail me.

[beaver girl]

I'm so sorry. What a nightmare. I'm praying for you!

[Katie]

Oh no! I just can't understand why after all this, you're faced with more frustration and aggravation. I hope something can be figured out. I'll be praying for it.

[Ashley]

OMGod! This is outrageous!!!!! NO F'ING WAY!

Many MANY ferverent prayers for you and D.

Ashley :(

[Mieke]

I hope you'll be home with your baby soon

[Michelle]

Oh man! Hope it works out really soon!

[Molly]

WHAT?! This absolutely blows my mind. I am sick for you. Hoping and hoping that some heads are pulled out of asses and this rights itself soon --

[Kate]

Damn it all to hell. Those crazy Russians! Don't give them any more money either!

[Anna H.]

Oh, Soper -- we are sending all good thoughts your way. I so hope this mind-fuck ends soon.

xxoo

[persephone]

What Mare said. Every word of it.

[Jenn]

Holy shit!!! I'm so so sorry.

[jen]

Holy shit. Thinking happy happy happy karma thoughts with every fiber of my being.

[Carrie C.]

I'm so very sorry for the way this is unfolding, for you two, for that little girl. I'm hoping that this works out for the best very soon.

[Cecily]

Oh, god, honey. God. So so sorry. God.

[Sheri]

Oh my God! I am so sorry.
You are in my thoughts and prayers!

[libby]

Oh no. Oh dear. I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Hoping for a resolution in your favor, somehow. Sending good thoughts to Central Asia.

[Jen]

Oh, sweetie, you and your husband must be devastated. How frustrating and sad.

Prayers, hopes, and thoughts that your baby IS there somewhere--just in hiding right now.

[alex]

Oh my gosh...I am so sorry for you...praying your baby is out there. This is so terrible. Please know that we are all sending love and good wishes.

What a nightmare this must be....

[cancerbaby]

Oh god, Soper. I'm just shocked, and angry and sad. I am wishing with all I have that this gets sorted out today, NOW, this very minute. You have waited so long, and worked so hard, and I just can't believe this. I just don't know what to say. I am sorry, and I am waiting, and I am hoping and hoping and hoping that something changes fast, and your heart is managing to hold itself together.

[Journeywoman71]

Oh no!

Oh SHIT!

I'm sending you all the love and good wishes I can! I hope all goes better....Please update us no matter what!

[Rose]

Oh no. I am so so so fucking sorry that this is happening. I hope that either this woman's bluff is successfully called, you get moved to another region, something.

What a fucking nightmare. I am so so sorry.

[Jenn]

My God. I am so sorry.

I can't believe this is happening. Hoping the situation gets better right away!

[Cat]

Livid is a great word for this and from the sounds of things round here there are a few livid folks back stateside rooting you on (me included).

I'm praying for you and hubby that somehow someway the path will become clear once more and you will return triumphant.

[Pamplemousse]

A very similar thing happened to my friend in St Petersburg and they had to return home empty-handed and broken-hearted. They found the strength from Gd-knows-where to go back for a 3rd time and that one was the charm. Stay strong and focussed and I am so hoping that things will work out in the end.

[liz]

Oh that's so crappy. I'm so sorry for you and D. and that poor little girl who thought she was going home with you.

Weeping.

[Dead Bug]

Oh, god, no-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo. I am horrified and flabbergasted and hoping desperately that everything works out.

--Bugs

[DMouse]

Fucking hell.

There just aren't any words.

[Brooklyn Girl]

I can't even imagine what you must be going through. Wishing for a miracle.

[B]

Along with everyone else, I am sending all of my love and energy to you and D in hopes that this gets worked out very soon. I am so very sorry.

[Heidi]

You should have posted the warning to me on the other site!

Soper, you know, of course, I am with you in heart and spirit. As I said earlier, I am praying and crying with you long distance. Love you,

Heidi

[Julie]

Soper - I just came over from Cecily's blog. I'm so sorry you are going through this and you and your family are in my prayers!

[emma]

OMG. I can't believe this. I just....I can't even find the words.
Soper and D., I'm so sorry it has happened this way. I have all my fingers and toes crossed for you.

[Deanna]

Oh my dear I am so, so, so very sorry for your loss. I wish I could help you.

[Milenka]

I am so sorry!

[Moxie]

Oh, no. No.

[PJ]

I really hope there is some resolution for you here. I can't even imagine what you're going through. I'll be thinking of you and your husband.

[Shevon]

What the fucking fuck??
Seriously!

[Amber]

That poor little 3 year old.

[Amy/grrlTravels]

Sending good thoughts your way and hoping for a very quick resolution. So, so sorry!

[Jill]

My heart breaks for the little one who was hurt by their manipulation. And I'm so sorry this isn't going easier for you. Many prayers lifted for you today.

[Marla]

I'm crushed for you, but OMG that 3-year old-- awful.

[OvaGirl]

Via Infertile Gourmet...good God, how appalling and how heartbreaking. So sorry that you have had to experience this nightmare.Hoping for you that this all works out.

[Wavery]

Sorry doesn't do it here, I have no words, but much heart for you.

[Karen]

Holy Fucking Shit - and I mean HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!!
This is unbelievable.
What does your agency here say? Can they contact the Congressman? Fuck there has to be something they can do.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.

[karla]

I'm so sorry. I am sending up prayers for you guys.

[Kathy]

Delurking to say hang in there Soper. We're hoping to adopt from Kazakhstan next year and I've been following your blog. I've read about this same problem on other blogs and standing your ground seems to get results as far as I can tell. Pulling for you and your husband. All the best.

[Sandy]

I don't have the words. You're all in my prayers.

[millie]

This is just wrong. so very wrong. Hoping it all works out for you (quickly).

[Jen/VintageUterus]

NO! NO! NO! Oh, God, Soper! I'm stunned. So fucking unbelievable. Hoping, praying and cursing for you...

[Emily]

Oh fuck, NO! Unbelievable. I'm so, so sorry Soper. So sorry. Prayers for you that you get it straightened out soon and come home.

[Ellen]

My God. That's horrifying. I'm so sorry. Praying that things improve.

[expat]

Oh my god, Soper.

There are no words. I am so sorry.

[Cathy]

What an awful situation. I am so sorry. Sending you good thoughts. I haven't read your blog in a long time, but have been considering Kazakhstan. Maybe not now. Take good care.

[Figlet]

I am so incredibly sorry this is happening and I will, in my own way, say some prayers for you guys.

[Shelba]

Oh no!! How frustrating! Though really, I don't think frustrating is enough to describe what you are going through. I hope all of this gets straightened out pronto. I'll be thinking about you.

[thrice]

My. God. I really hope it is a bluff. I really hope that they need money and will call you back at the last second, because it would be too easy to own up tomorrow.

I would imagine that you weren't the first woman the the 3 year old had called "Mama."

Absolutely gut-wrenching all around.

I'm very sorry.

[maia]

Oh.My.Gawd.
Hoping the next few days find you WITH the baby you have both worked so hard to meet.
Just tragic, this post is too sad :(

[Orodemniades]

That's horrific. That poor child.

[Crystal]

Thats awful news :(

I'm lighting a candle for you and sending good stuff your way

blessed be

[Roxanne]

Oh no!!! That's just awful!!!! I so hope that this works out. :(

[Slim]

I am so angry with those Kazakh women my head may explode. How could they do that to you and worse, to that little girl?
I keep thinking of variations of the opening to all those Law & Orders: "In the world of adoption, these is a special circle of Hell for pustules in human form who jab at the tenderest spots of the most vulnerable parties. . . ."
Praying for you.

[Beth]

Hi Soper, I'm just an occasional visitor but, yes, you are in my prayers. I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this shit. It's all wrong.

[Jen]

I'm so sorry. I cannot believe that they would do that to you or a 3 year old child. Hoping for a quick resolution. Hang in there. I don't know what else to say.

[Kinneret]

I am so very very sorry. Here's hoping this works out and quickly.

[Thalia]

Shit soper I'm so sorry. I'm hoping that your coordinator manages to kick them into gear soon.

[Ollie]

Oh god, SOPER! I am so sorry. What a horrible nightmare for you and that little girl. This sucks so much.

[Sailing chick]

Normaly not a praying type of person, but will be sending you every positive fiber in my bones!!!

GOVERDERDOMME!!!!! (dutch)

[Floyd]

I'm praying for you. Hang in there.

[Jacqueline]

Delurking to offer prayers and best wishes as you face this horrible, unfair situation

[Brenda]

For fucks sake! I am so sorry you are having to deal with this!

[Julia S]

Soper, I am so incredibly sorry. You are in my thoughts. I desperately hope that there will be a resolution soon.

So sorry.

[Rachel]

Are you freaking kidding me? Delurking to say that I can't believe it. I am on my knees praying.

Love,
Rachel

[patricia]

Oh God Soper! You sound so much more zen than I would be. I'm praying my ass off right now, and I don't usualy pray at all.

Hang in there.

[Yellowgirl]

Soper:
Long time lurker here. I share the outrage and anger of the other commentors. Some assvice here: the comment about your Congressman might be a place to start if they continue to take this position. Can you give us the state/city you live in? Someone reading this blog must have connections somewhere in Washington. A call from a higher-up type might just do the trick. Prayers coming your way.

[Heather]

Oh, hell no. I had to read this entry twice just to process that it had actually happened. I will be thinking of you and D and saying lots and lots of prayers.

[Karen]

Oh my freaking god, Soper. I can't believe this is happening to you. I am so, so so so so so sorry. My gut is wrenched out of me and now all I can do is refresh you like a lunatic, think of you a million miles away, hope hope hope that things work out. I am so sorry, my friend.

[anon]

Oh my god! That poor child - how absolutely utterly heartbreaking. It's insane how cruel people can be. Poor little babe.

[Erin]

Yeah, Soper, if you've got like a thousand hits from my IPO, it's me. I'm with Karen on the obsessively refreshing. I can't help myself, very worried for you.

[kath]

I can't believe this is happening to you! What a disaster.

[Jody]

Oh God. Soper. I am so, so sorry. Please, please, please, take care of yourself. Do what can be done.

Oh, my heart just sinks for you.

Take care, and Godspeed for a miracle (or, you know, some bureaucratic honesty).

[ms pickled eggs]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Thinking of you and hoping for a speedy resolution.

[Anne]

I can't believe this is happening. Can't the universe cut you some slack already? We're all pulling for you.

[kiwi]

Oh good God this is horrible. I am so, so sorry.